Party Crashing Etiquette: St. Paddy’s Day

It’s March 17th, but you woke up without a clue, got dressed in the dark, and ended up getting harassed by your coworkers all day for not wearing green. Don’t let the rest of the day go by without having a little fun. Nothing really captures the debauchery and fun-times spirit of St. Paddy’s Day like crashing a party. Here’s how to do it without causing your day to get even worse.

 

# 1 BYOB (Bring Your Own Booze)

It’s bad enough that you’re crashing a party. Don’t show up empty handed; bring some booze for yourself, at least. If the host is running low on booze, you could end up being a party hero. Make sure it’s Guinness or Jameson, something Irish, and if you can’t manage that, proceed to the next piece of advice.

 

# 2 BYOGFC (Bring Your Own Green Food Coloring)

Want to be the hero of this party? Show up with something cheap, fun, and on-theme. If your friends weren’t drinking green beer and eating Lucky Charms by the handful before you showed up, they will be now. If you’re going to crash a party, make your presence memorable (in a good way). A pack of food coloring will set you back a few bucks, but the memories will last as long as it takes your friend to wash the green out of his carpet.

 

# 3 Leave the History at Home

Oh, so St. Patrick really didn’t singlehandedly rid Ireland of all snakes? Fascinating. Now shut up and drink. This is a party, not a lecture. Talk about how awesome Liam Neeson is or go home.

 

# 4 Embrace the Gaucheness of It All

Let’s be real. If you’re crashing a party on St. Paddy’s day, you’re probably not all that concerned about social propriety anyway. But on the off chance the cultural stereotypes get to be a little too much to handle, just keep it to yourself. Time and place: this party is neither. You’re not going to be changing any minds or making any major socio-cultural progress at a party.

 

# 5 Be a Good Sport

Personally, I can’t stand Flogging Molly and the Dropkick Murphys, but I know that showing up to a St. Paddy’s Day party basically guarantees that I’m going to hear “I’m Shipping Up to Boston” at least once. This is the one night of the year I’ll be fine with that. You’ve made the choice to go to a party with a very specific theme, so don’t be that guy who’s too cool to enjoy it.

 

# 6 No Judgments

Some people complain that St. Paddy’s day is just an excuse for a party, and that its meaning has otherwise been completely forgotten. Other people agree but fail to see the problem with that. Again, if you’re crashing a party on March 17th, you’re probably ready for a good time. Remember that everyone else with a green beer in hand is out for the same. Try not to get arrested, don’t be a jerk, and remember that now’s not the time to spam your buddies’ Facebooks with slow-mo pictures of green puke.

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Jennifer is in her first year with MyNewPlace.  She is excited to be a writer for the company while she finishes her Ph.D. in Anthropology, which she expects to receive from American University this May. ...