Feeling like you’re living in a horror movie every time you go to pee in the middle of the night. Take action:
WD-40 Your Squeaky Hinges
Anyone with a basic knowledge of fixing things will probably tell you that WD-40 will fix most squeaky things. For example, when I was a kid, we frequently WD-40’d the van door in order to open it and be able to go to school. (What is WD-40, you ask?? Good thing you asked us, and didn’t risk embarrassment. It’s a penetrating oil and water-displacing spray.) Because WD-40 is so great, it comes with a little straw, that lets you squirt oil right where it needs to go.
Silicone spray/lithium grease on problem areas
Another option: take the pin out of the hinge and coat it with a lubricant, whether silicone or lithium—depending on whom you ask. Then stick the pin back in, and if necessary, repeat on the other pin (don’t do both at once). This method will probably last longer than just a shot of oil, too.
Vaseline Noisy Joints
Apparently, you can also use Vaseline to lubricate hinges. (Additionally, as chapstick, massage oil, razor burn cure, tattoo protection, bike lube, and squirrel deterrent.) If for some reason you need to fix your squeaky door RIGHT NOW—and even my twisted brain has a hard time figuring out why it would be so urgent—you’re probably more likely to have Vaseline on hand than lithium grease, so have at it.
Tighten the hinges
It’s possible all you need is a good old-fashioned screwdriver. A couple loose screws might be the extent of the damage. If you can’t find any super loose ones, you may need to take the entire door off and rebalance it so that the hinges are placed correctly and not working at an angle.
Call your landlord
Yeah, that’s kind of a cop-out. But we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention this: if you’re totally inept at fixing things, it’s great that you want to get better, just make sure it’s not at the expense of your security deposit. Go practice on someone else’s doors! Just kidding. Sort of.
To olive oil or not olive oil
Some rental DIY authorities say that, in a pinch, olive oil will fix a squeaky hinge. (Just don’t use too much, or your room will smell of rancid olives.) Great! Except that other apartment living sites will tell you to avoid this shortcut at all costs, as it doesn’t actually work and will just make the matter, well, stickier. I can’t weigh in on this issue, because I practice what I preach and just use WD-40. Ever taken this leap of faith? Let us know.
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