Deciding to move in with a boyfriend or girlfriend is an important step in a relationship. Unfortunately, in times of economic hardship, the decision to move in together may have less to do with the present and future state of the relationship and more to do with the lure of saving money on rent. Though cohabiting is a great way to save money, saving money is a terrible reason to move in with someone. Before you take this step with your significant other make sure you’ve thought it through.
How well do you know them? Is it possible they are hiding some secret and hideous habit? Is there anything about them that already irritates the crap out of you – that could conceivably be made worse by living together in close quarters?
When considering moving in with a partner, the most important thing to do is ask yourself if this person is really “the one.” Of course, people and situations change, so there’s no way to know for certain whether you’ll spend the rest of your life with a person, but before you move in you ought to be very sure that you feel that way now. Breaking up is hard enough to do without adding shared belongings and cosigned leases to the equation. If things get rocky, you’ll want to make sure that you care enough about the relationship that you’ll be willing to weather the difficult times before you sign on the dotted line. Many people liken moving in together to a ‘relationship test’ – i.e., if you can enjoy / survive living together, you are probably somewhat well-suited. Are you ready for a test like this, because if the two of you just started dating yesterday chances are…MOVING IN TOGETHER IS A BAD IDEA!
It’s also important to consider how long you’ve known a person when thinking about whether you should be living together. While love-at-first-sight certainly seems possible for some people, more often than not those sticky-sweet feelings will disappear when your significant other starts to display their flaws, insecurities and issues. Make sure that you know enough about your partner to know the bad side as well as the good side and make sure that you care enough about him or her to take the bad along with the good. Nobody’s perfect but that doesn’t mean that every person’s issues are going to be something you’re willing to put up with. Don’t rush into a situation before you know your partner well.
You’ll also want to consider how much time you and your partner like to spend together before you take the plunge and rent and apartment together. If you don’t spend every night together, try it out for a few weeks first. If you enjoy each other but you also enjoy your own space, it won’t be a good idea to rent a studio apartment together, though you and your partner could make a two bedroom place work. Partners who already spend a lot of time together usually have an easier transition when they’re moving in together, but that doesn’t mean that they should ignore their needs for alone time and privacy.
Before you move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend, make sure you’ve thought it through completely. Jumping into an irrational, emotional decision is a bad idea and one that could lead to a nasty break up rather than a joyous union. Logically considering the pros and cons of living together and discussing it openly with your partner is the best way to ensure a happy cohabitation for the both of you.
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